WMWMarathon

I woke up Sunday morning, 6:00am to have something to eat. I was not going to get caught out again with the diet thing. I had spent the week, carb-loading and was feeling a bit stuffed. A Weetabix and a honey covered bagel were my poison before I slowly and reluctantly got ready. Like a condemned man, I knew my fate.

Rose & Jack gave me a lift up town (THANK YOU), it was absolutely pissing of rain and my clothes plan had changed last minute. I now had a hat, gloves and jacket to wear. Kitted out with my new Nike Triax watch and Rose’s iPod I was confident that despite the weather I had enough in the bank and distractions to keep me going.

Ed in St Andrew Square (after being dropped off by Rose & Jack) in the pouring rain

I hooked up with Suz and Chris and a quick shelter in the doorway of a shoe shop and a wee in Rose Street (there were huge queues for the portaloos) and we were in our pen, warming up. We had selected the 4:00 to 4:30 pen which as we stood about pretending to warm up made us more and more anxious. The folk in there with us were like proper runners, they had all the gear, proper gear and I don’t think one of them had any body fat on them.

As time grew closer, the announcer grew louder and more annoying. We were facing the wrong way, heading towards Lothian Road as we had a wee turn at the bottom to come back round to the actual start. A couple of non-descript councillors started the race and Chris and I watched the front runners head off at practically double our pace. We knew it would be a few minutes (at least) till we actually got to the start line (and I was in no hurry).

Then all of a sudden, right in front of us, a wifie wearing semi-decent running gear, stopped, dropped her kecks and proceeded to do a wee, literally as close as the computer screen is to your eyes right now, I could have stuck my finger right up her bum hole if I really wanted, she was that bloody close. No apology, nothing, onwards we go towards the start line.

A couple of false jogs and we hit the start line running, making sure to start the watch. We jogged past Suz & Co. and headed off to Waterloo Place where we spent most of the time dodging puddles and overtaking, being overtaken. We went through Holyrood Park and by the time we hit Meadowbank my Squatting Pissing Woman count was up to 10. I then decided to stop playing this game and concentrate on running.

As we headed down to the Beach we attempted to kill time by playing a Who Can Spot The Most Folk We Know game. I had seen my brother sitting in traffic and Ian Boyter. I tried to claim his dog as a spot but Chris was having none of it. Chris then began to cheat and started waving at randoms on a bus, then a family in Craigentinny Avenue. The Dad of said family looked scared and I swear when Chris shouted HELLO, he put his arm round his children.

Down to Seafield and we were on the Promenade. Local knowledge had taught us to run at the top of the Promenade due to the camber and the holes so I giggled as I watched the unenlightened struggling a bit. The weather had stopped raining and by now I wanted to get rid of the hat and coat. We were approaching Henderson HQ where Team Hendo were based so I knew I would be able to dump them with Mum & Dad. A quick hello, photo and wave and were were off again.

Chris and Ed at 5 miles (outside Funpark at Portobello)

Dad managed to sneak a couple of mini Mars Bars into my hand (THANK YOU) and on we went down the coast. The rain had stopped now but the wind was pretty strong. As we passed the Rockville, Chris and I got separated, he had been behind me (just) for about a mile and I looked back and he was gone. Sorry. So I pushed on as I was running a very familiar bit of ground now. I was doing my best to keep the pace and kept it going pretty well all the way down to Port Seton. The wind was making it difficult to get good times but I kept telling myself that I would have the wind at my back on the way home. That was still a long way away though!

As I approached the Promenade at Port Seton (right where I used to live), I spotted Team Hendo again (Jack, Rose, Dad & Mum), the weather now was dark, windy and crap if I am honest. They all had their coats on and hoods up. Wee Jack was sitting on a bench right next to the runners, happily sitting watching. Then I realised, its cause he was eating. Still he saw me and I managed to give him a high five as I went past.

Ed about to give Jack a high five in Port Seton (13 miles)

The furthest I have ever ran is 13.1 miles (once in training, once in the Edinburgh Forthside Half Marathon) so as you can imagine I was now beginning to worry a little. I knew that once we left the safety of Port Seton it was country roads (and not a lot of support) down to Gosford. This was a good few miles till we got back to Port Seton again (9 in fact) so I was scared.

The thing about running this kind of race is that your energy levels don’t go down at a constant rate, they can get quite low quite quickly, and mine did. Right around the 14-15 mile mark, I hit what was probably the wall and was cursing the fact I didn’t get another Mars Bar off Dad at 13 miles. I knew I had to keep going but it was very hard. For the first time that day I had to slow down to a walk. The fact I had ran over 14 miles without stopping was a feat in itself. Even in the Half Marathon I had two complete stops, as well as the Training Run so I wasn’t too disappointed. I told myself that I hadn’t stopped, I had merely slowed to a walk, and in the words of our Internet Training guru Hal Higdon - walking is a perfectly acceptable method of completing a marathon. I also cheered myself with the knowledge that I wasn’t just walking, I was making an effort and was walking proudly, strongly, smartly. Kind of a like a power walk, I needed to keep moving. I did not want to stop.

Miles 15 through 19 dragged by as I was dizzy, staggering a bit and really considering looking for a way out. Counting the time to the next water stop or Lucozade stop was all that kept me going and I managed to get to Gosford House and get round it (albeit mostly walking through the grounds) and on the road home. Chris passed me coming into Gosford House just as I was coming out so we said Hi and both cracked on. I needed food, energy, something to pep me up and then I got to Lyars Road.

This appeared to be a part of the route where they needed to take up the slack when it came to the distance, i.e. we basically came off the coast road, turned left up a street, round a cone and back down. Albeit, it was a bloody hill and the last thing I needed. I spotted Team Hendo (this time including Team Green) halfway up hill. I was walking and waved a bit and shouted that I needed food. At that point the iPod packed in and I was wondering that on top of the rain, wind, energy loss, bust iPod, what else could go wrong?

Ed struggling at 19 miles (up a bloody hill)

I got to the top and turned back down the hill, Team’s Hendo and Green about 100 yards ahead of me. Then disaster struck and one of the most horrible 5 minutes of my life. I got cramp in both hamstrings at the same time. First of all I have never had cramp in a hamstring, secondly, never had cramp while doing sport, thirdly, I wasn’t really in a fit state to deal with it. I cant really describe the pain, its one of those things you really have to experience to appreciate. The closest I can describe is excruciating agony. I probably looked like a robot grinding to a halt, unable to walk. Most of Longniddry was supporting at this little part and on top of the pain it was very embarrassing (for me and them). I did my best to walk it off but my legs wouldn’t go. I tried to bend over, stretch it off, but I couldn’t, it was too sore. Being honest, I wanted to fall over and wait for medical assistance but I wasn’t going to let the Marathon beat me. I leaned over trying to stretch, grimacing and I heard a wee boy said to his Mum, Mummy, what’s wrong with that man?. I couldn’t see them as my eyes were closed. She replied I think he has cramp. I wanted to reply and tell them to F**k off but I couldn’t, they had done nothing wrong, I was just angry so I kept my mouth shut.

A combination of strange stretching, attempting to walk and crowd support and I managed to break back into a walk. I got down to Team Hendo and being honest, the look on their faces wasn’t great. I think they thought I was done for. I said I was OK and thought I would at least give it a go. At this point I was still 7 miles from home. Even at my top running pace, that an hours jog. I scoffed down 2 or 3 Mini Mars Bars, had two Lucozades and nabbed some jelly sweeties off a stranger. I got my walking back up to power walking pace and off I went.

Then a strange thing happened, all the sugar/energy/carbs kicked in and I had a wee bit of energy, enough even to manage a jog. The road back to Port Seton was lonely, 3 miles of wee jogs, power walks and looking over my shoulder for Chris catching up. I don’t know what I was expecting to happen at Port Seton (22 miles), there was no magic pick me up, just more road. I think its that I knew I was back into civilisation again and the people cheering really do help. One lady even shouted Come on Wuh Muh Wuh at me

It then began raining and I shouted as loud as I could, Come on then, is the best you can throw at me!. I don’t know who I was shouting at, the Marathon, the God of Marathons, someone in charge. What with the rain, wind, hamstring, iPod, more rain I was actually beginning to enjoy knocking down whatever he threw at me. In your face God!

In and out of Port Seton / Cockenzie and back onto the horrible road back to Musselburgh through Prestonpans. At the last Lucozade stop, kids were messing about, jumping on all the discarded pouches, and they managed to get Lucozade over my legs. I apologise for my language now, but not for my sentiment. I called him a wee w*nker.

I am glad, I kept a hold of my gloves, cause by now it was cold and so was I, bloody freezing in fact. I was thinking of mugging someone for their tracksuit but even that would use up energy. At one point I saw some jelly babies on the ground and was considering picking them up and eating them for some energy. I didn’t, honest.

Basically, the last 3 miles consisted of me, 2 blokes and a burd with a nice bum having a mini race between us as we all alternated between walking and running, taking the lead, overtaking. I thought it only fair that the girl with the nice bum who did a fair bit to keep my mind off the agony by jiggling her bum as she ran (not deliberate I presume) was repaid. I did so by running in front of her and giving her a good look at my bum. Thank you mysterious Bum Girl.

As we approached Levenhall Roundabout, about half a mile to go, I managed to jog it in home and as I approached the finish line, I saw Team Hendo on my right and (well in my head I was) managed a sprint finish.

Got my medal from Pete Twaddle (Rugby Club dude) and headed round to meet the Team. By now it was nice and sunny of course. Big hugs from everyone and a couple of minutes later, Chris came home. Mum had supplied some Magners for Chris and I which we duly drank.

Mum supplies Magners at the Finish Line

All done, smile for the camera

All in all, I spotted - Jack Henderson, Rose Henderson, Eddie Henderson, Liz Henderson, Johnny Henderson, Ian Boyter, Alan Shand, Andy Spence, Natalie Welsh, Bob Jefferson, Pete Twaddle, Derek Ireland, June Green, Johnny Green, Suzanne Green, Louise Dryburgh & Spiderman.

All, in all, what can I say. A lot of folk enjoy the Marathon, the day, the support, the banter and I can see how and why. To a certain extent I did. Its just the mind numbingly horrible sore pain part that made me want to lie down and die that I didn’t enjoy. Still, it was worth it. I did something I always wanted to do (once) and helped raise a shed load of cash for Charity as well.

Since I did it for all the other runs, here are the stats.

Map

Comes in 2 parts, its so bloody big. Click for bigger versions.

Route

Princes Street » Waterloo Place » Regent Road » Turn right on to Abbeymount » Abbey Hill » Horse Wynd » Turn left on to Queen’s Drive » Duke’s Walk » Meadowbank Terrace» Turn right on to London Road » Portobello Road » Turn left on to Craigentinny Avenue » Fillyside Road » Over Seafield Road East » On to Portobello Promenade» Through bottom of Kings Place » Promenade Terrace » Portobello Promenade » Turn left on to Musselburgh Road » Edinburgh Road » Left on to New Street » Turn left on to Musselburgh Promenade » Turn Right on to Links View » Turn Left on to New Street » Over The Electric Bridge » Left on to Goose Green Crescent rquo; Right on to Balcarres Road » Left on to Millhill Wynd » Left on to Linkfield Road » Turn left on to Ravenhaugh Road » Prestonpans High Street » Edinburgh Road » Turn Left on to Cockenzie High Street » Weyss Place » Viewforth » Turn Left on to Port Seton Promenade » Turn Left on to Port Seton Links » Links Road past Caravan Site » Straight past jct. Longniddry Rd / Lyars Rd » A198 to Gosford House» Turn around point at 0.25 mi past Gosford Gate » Back towards Gosford House » Turn left in to Gosford House » Circle Gosford House clockwise » Turn left on to A198 towards Port Seton » Turnleft up Lyars Rd » Turn around before Wemyss Road » Turn left on to A198 towards Port Seton » Links Road » Past Seton Sands Caravan Site » Turn right on to Viewforth » Wemyss Place» Cockenzie High Street » Turn right on to Edinburgh Road » Prestonpans High Street » Ravenhaugh Road » Turn right on to Linkfield Road aquo; Turn right in to MusselburghRace Course

Distance

26.2 miles

Time

Time on my watch was 4:33:01 (or 4 hours, 33 minutes and 1 second), this will be confirmed tomorrow when the Official results are posted. Time confirmed - 4:32:59 (4 hours, 32 minutes and 59 seconds), 2 seconds quicker than I thought!

Graphs

I made a graph, the blue is the pace I was aiming for and the red is what I ran. Can you spot when I got tired Click for a bigger version.

Stops

I am very proud to say that I only had 1 stop and that was when I got simultaneous cramp in both hamstrings around mile 19. The rest of the time (even when walking), I never stopped at all.

Comments

To be honest, said most of what I wanted to say above. To summarise, I am not going to run a Marathon again, and I cannot recommend it to anyone Thank you thank you thank you to all the folk who sponsored us, supported us and helped us. A special thank you to Rose for looking after me with my carbs these last few weeks. You will all be rewarded by Jesus one day.

This is not quite the end of WMWMarathon, certainly the end of the running but the JustGiving page is open till around 27 June 2007 so we will try and squeeze a few more pounds out of you folk, as well as the fun of collecting all the pledges.

After that, I’m done and will move onto my next challenge. Will be announced shortly.

For all the nerds out there, my headline is based on a quote by Steve Redgrave in 1996. After winning his Gold Medal, he was asked if he would be competing in Sydney in 4 years time. He said Anyone who sees me go anywhere near a boat again, ever, you’ve got my permission to shoot me.

He reversed his decision in 1997

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